Confessions of T (H) (B)

Confused and Contradicting

2012-01-29T23:50:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

I have the ability to make people happy but why do these people feel the need to make jokes out of me when they felt better? I will no longer be friendly and crack jokes with these unappreciative people. I am not a punching bag!

Tried so hard but I lost it all in the end. Thought leaving will make someone come back for me but it didn't happen. Guess I wasn't important enough.

Was on the verge of declaring I am not writing anymore. Then I don't feel like doing that after I start writing again. Sorry THB haters.

No matter how much I run my weight did not go down. I felt slimer but the weighing scales disagreed.

Felt good during and after my usual runs but I am not satisfied with my performance. My timing sucks.

Love my job but dread going to office. Love my colleagues but I still dread heading to office.

I know I need my job to sustain my lifestyle but I still dread getting out of bed and prepare for work even though I enjoy what I do.

Missed the parties I used to attend but I don't miss the people at these parties. The people make the parties so I actually miss the superficial world.

Welcome compliments but I don't enjoy having too much attention.

Hate my current place because my room is next to the corridor and the buses huffed every few minutes but I have to stay put. Too pampered in the past for my own good. Yes, I am The Heartland Bitch now..

Is saving the cents but spending the dollars.

Enjoy sex but I'll rather not do it with strangers or without any romancing.

Wants and misses the romance but rejected it anyway. Don't think I am ready yet.

Oh man. I do sound confused and contradicting don't I?

Poll 27 Evaluation: Getting Laid Resolution

2012-01-26T22:47:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day...

I hope you realized I was not referring to mysef because I stated my resolutions clearly a few posts before. It is YOU that this poll is for.

The choice that garnered the most votes, 29 percent, is the getting laid resolution. Well well, why am I not surprised? Many horny people reading here that wants it but not necessary getting it. Get out there and mingle with people my dear. Knowing more people widens your circle and could possibly increase your chances! You may get lucky hitting on people behind the computer screen but nothing beats physical presence. People in the virtual world are not real and more than often resulted in disappointment. If you still can't get laid, get yourself a toy or something.

The second highest is losing weight. There are no quick fixes in losing weight. The faster you lose, the faster it comes back. Get your butt out there and start slow. Start walking if you don't want anything too intensive. If you have a smart phone, you may want to download Endomondo or Run Keeper app.

Less than a year ago, I started running again. Running is like sex. The more you do, the more you like it and you feel good at the end. From breathless after one kilometre to completing several 10 kilometres run. My average per session is 6 kilometres now. I am damn proud of myself even when I did not lose much weight. My tailor had to trim two inches from the waist for my cheongsam. Damn I felt good.

Next is making more money. Work harder? If you are working part time, put in more hours. If you can claim overtime, work later, go home later. If you are hoding a permanent job, get a promotion. Alternatively, buy Toto, 4D and Big Sweep. Lady luck may smile at you on that lucky day. I am not encouraging the casino because one may get carried away while in there. If you have a sure make money way, kindly inform me. I am sure many people will be keen to know too.

Other seemingly high votes choices are having no resolutions (you lazy bump), getting a life (yes if you can buy one), and travelling more. Travelling somehow enriches a part of your life, oh and charity too. Go book that cheap flight or sign up for some charity events. You can invite me along if you need a companion.

To the two that wanted to get married, I will not pour cold water just because mine failed. I wish you the best and please be very sure of your other half, make sure you have money in your bank account and keep your own money.

So many resolutions, so little time. Aim to achieve the important one and the rest can wait...

My Cum Filled Gold Painted Hands

2012-01-23T16:53:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

The water dragon is in love with me and I am serious. As if putting me in bed and under shelter these few days is not enough, the day I decided to go out to offer my prayers on the first day of the lunar month, he cummed on me.

Before going into the temple, it was still sunny. Hence I queued up like the rest.

Lighting up my joss sticks before going in.

Then it started pouring and my joss sticks was drenched like me too.

The other peope drenched in dragon cum.

Gold paint courtesy of the joss sticks paint plus dragon cum.

Everything I touch turn into gold. My bag, my dress, my wallet and my face. Does that mean I will have money in my hands in the cumming dragon year?

Now who wanna touch my cum filled gold painted hand?

Happy Water Dragon Year !

Officially Single Again

2012-01-20T16:09:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Today, I received the news that my application for annulment of marriage has been approved.

I am officially single again.

I got what I wanted and I should be happy, but I am not.

New place. New lunar year. Reverse of marital status. Starting afresh.

Clueless Men Diaries: When I Start Packing

2012-01-15T15:57:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Not that long ago, I packed my stuff and moved out from my marital home. Packing my stuff before the lunar new year and shifting to a new place reminded me of pretty much everything that day...

When I made a fuss and start packing my things, you should put my stuff back into it's original place.

When I messed up my clothes and start putting them in my luggage, you should have taken them out and put them back in the wardrobe.

When I grabbed my toiletries, you should have grabbed my bag and hid it somewhere.

When I cried you should have grabbed me and hug me tight.

When I made my way to the door, you should have thrown my keys away.

When I hailed for the cab, you should have taken the chance to grab my stuff and ran away, not offer me a lift.

When I started packing, I didn't really want to leave. You shouldn't have let me go so easily...

One Day Late

2012-01-11T23:01:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day...

Two birthdays ago, I had a very good job, a very good boss and a very expensive birthday present.

For some reason the watch stopped working after a few months from wearing it. It remained in its box for more than a year until I took it out and sent it for a battery change. Battery change was what I thought it needed until I received a call from its boutique.

"We did a check and found that the oil in the watch had dried up and it is not a battery problem. With servicing and polishing will cost about $800. If you don't want the polishing it will cost about $600. You have to send it for servicing every four to five years." said the staff.

"(*&^%$#@!@#$^&*&^%$#). I have not worn it for more than a year and it is only two years old," I said.

"Or do you have the warranty? You can bring it down. I will wait for you and get your signature before I send it for repair," she replied.

I came home and search frantically for the warranty. It was only moments ago that I realized how the certificate looked like and I am one day late in sending it to the boutique.

Folks, I am one day late in sending my watch for repair. One day. Shall I be a bitch to get what I want?

A one for one exchange perhaps?

Clueless THB: Happy Birthday?

2012-01-08T23:29:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

On my birthday, my soon to be ex hubby was the first to send me a text to wish me Happy Birthday. He was the first to post on my personal Facebook account and he got me a birthday present from Tiffany & Co.

What does it mean? Maybe I am still important and my birthday is hard to miss since it is so close to the festive season.

I would not think much if it is just a pendant and chain but it is a heart shaped pendant...

What does the gift imply? He still love me or maybe it just happen to be an affordable presentable gift?

Argh! I am clueless. It is only my birthday? What the hell am I expecting?!

Whatever I had to say and wanted to do is all hidden deep inside. Thank you was probably the best words and a hug was the most appropriate action. Nvm..

Happy Birthday to me and thank you for all the well wishes on Facebook dearies.

Hong Kong Diaries: Hong Kong anyone?

2012-01-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Last month, I visited 东方之珠 (pronounced as Dong Fang Zhi Zhu), Pearl of the Orient or better known as Hong Kong.

If you ask me what my impression of Hong Kong is, I would say it is a Chinese version of Singapore. Financially competitive, expensive homes, good infrastructure, limited land and full of "foreign talents".

My first visit to Hong Kong three years ago was brief. This time, I had a friend to bring me around and colleagues from the Hong Kong office to meet for dinners. I did not know what I was missing until I explored more.

The first day was spent in Mongkok getting a haircut and eating streetside food. Dinner was with my colleagues from the Hong Kong office. Two hours to the dinner I already have a headache. Lack of sleep, not used to the weather and the bullet speed Cantonese conversations.

Fast forward to the next morning, since my hotel was near Mongkok, we had our breakfast in that area.

The dish on top taste like our butterfly, the bowl on the left is warm soya milk and the bowl on the right is my pig blood cube porridge. Two words, YUM YUM.

I have no idea why my milk comes in a bowl but then again, we Chinese do drink from bowls and I had no qualms slurping it to the last drop. As for the porridge, pig blood cube is not yucky. It is yummy. What was banned in Singapore years ago and easily found on the streets in Hong Kong is a delicacy to me now. Imagine sitting by the roadside in the cold having hot porridge and drinking soya milk. Wooo...

Next, we took the MTR to Tung Chung and bought bus tickets at HKD $37 each valid for a day which will bring us up to the outlaying islands.

Apparently we can make as many trips as we want but we have limited time. Do not be afraid and put off by the snaking queue because it is fast moving. The cable car will be faster and of course cost us much more.

The moment we stepped out of the bus, we went for...

warm malt soya milk, black seasame paste and beancurd. Greedy girls!

Malt soya milk in a bottle up in the mountain is another different feeling altogether. The black sesame is not like the thick paste we have here. It is a tat more watery while the beancurd is served with ginger tea and you put yellow sugar in it. Nice but I prefer it without the sugar.

I did not plan to visit more temples but I visited one everyday in Hong Kong. I was already close to the Giant Buddha while taking this picture. If you noticed, the Buddha is looking down.

We were told by a middle age lady when we were at the stairs after coming down that we would be able to hear echoes of our own voice if we recite Amitabha aloud at that specific point where the Buddha is looking at.

We tried. I heard my friend's echo and my own but she claimed she could not hear mine. An elderly woman told us, if nobody can hear you but you can hear your own, it means your prayers are heard. Not sure how true that is but it was not my first strange encounter with Buddha statues. Remember my Cambodia trip and my camera detected blinks? Maybe it is just me.

Later, we took a bus over to Tai-O, a fishing town on an outlaying island near Lantau.

Honey with biscuits. Only HKD $3. You may want to check out his fresh ginger sweets too.

Walk a bit further and ferry operators started touting Pink dolphins boat ride. It only cost HKD $20 and we were the first to board the boat...

Could not catch a picture of the dolphins because I was too fascinated with the dolphin dance. This is a bad picture of what you will see when out in the sea.

Lunch was snacks from the streetside stalls in Tai-O. Not cheap. The cheese oysters alone cost HKD $30

It was recommended to choose your own live seafood and then bring it to the restaurants to be cooked. Very difficult with two people.

The two shagged women made their way back into the mainland in late afternoon.

When in Hong Kong, do what the locals do.

Horse Racing at Happy Valley!

Entry free is HKD $10 and you can pay using the Octopus card. Even the alcohol we bought can be purchased using the Octopus card. Amazing.

It happened to be the Cathy Cup. I took some time to understand how horse racing is in Hong Kong. It is more difficult to win in Hong Kong but you can bet as low as HKD $10. Unlike Singapore, the minimun bet is HKD $30. I only placed HKD $10 as I did not dare to bet big. Guess what? I won the third race. Only took back HKD $27. KNNBCCB.

Dinner at no idea where my gay boyfriend and friend brought me to but the name of the place is in the picture. They said tourists don't visit this place.

From top right clockwise direction: Internal organs, pig blood cube, fried fish and pork cutlet/chop.

Pork pork and pork!

Breakfast the next day at 旺角深井陳記燒鵝餐廳 in where else but Mongkok again.

Finally I got my goose drumstick and yun yung.

An hour later, I was in this local yum cha restaurant for dim sun while mingling with my friend's relatives.

I felt like I just stepped into a Tai Kor Tai (Gangster) movie setting. Suddenly someone will pull a knief, overturn the tables and there will be blood everywhere. Hur hur..

Hong Kong was fun and I had no time for hook-ups and not much shopping to be done. It was not my priority anyway. I will have to visit the places I did not manage another time.

Hong Kong anyone?

Poll Evauation 26: Happy New Year & oh ya.. Merry Christmas

2012-01-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

Confession of the Day...

Christmas, not everyone believes in Jesus Christ but most celebrate it anyway since it is a public holiday. 43 per cent of respondents thinks Christmas is an excuse to splurge on expensive gifts for their family and friends. Are you one of those? It was so easy to spend without batting an eyelid when your conscience calls and you know you have been taking them for granted far too long. THB thinks any gifts in the form of cash a red packet is best. A pity none of my family and friends share the same view. It is easy and fuss free right?

Out of 55 respondents, 41 percent of them thought it is a chance to get laid. Good for you if that happened. Unlike me, all those parties I attended are house parties catching up over food and drinks like 32 per cent of the respondents. No such thing like what the 23 per cent think, no loud music and eye candies. Boo hoo!!! The only men are relatives. I should choose my parties wisely or organise a singles party and then maybe upgrade it to a swingers party later this year.

The same percentage of respondents as above thinks Christmas is a good time to splurge on themselves individually. If you have enough money in your bank account to do it, by all means. Those who did not plan their holidays wisely like me would realise most part of the remaining amount in their bank account was spent on necessary gifts.

If every present stands for love, then I am super unpopular. You see, I did not receive enough to drown myself in them. 40 per cent probably felt guilty receiving too many presents they should not have. I am so jealous...

Not sure why 20 per cent thinks it is an excuse to commemorate the birth of Christ when it is to commemorate the birth of Christ.

Travelling and attending church seemed to be the least popular choices in this poll. Travelling is expensive and I completely understand that. Only 10 per cent repent for their sins?! I get it. Either readers here have no conscience or are super duper good people. It is still Christmas and it is the New Year. I will chose the latter. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Resoution 2012

2011-12-30T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

All right folks. Time to make a new year resolution which I may not be able to keep.

1. Get a Driver License for real this time

THB does not have a driving license because she failed her first driving test six years ago. When she decided to enrol in a driving school, it was four years later. Then, the driving school shifted after she completed her practical lessons. She withdraw and never went back again. Now that she is single again and does not have a designated driver, it is time to set her mind on that freaking little card that she can go on the road with. To think I can get a Masters degree but I can't drive. How sad.

2. Get a fucking personal credit card

THB does not have a credit card either. I have long qualified for one but it has always been debit debit all the way. I am against credit cards because the ex chalked up huge debts with them. Cash is king but it is really inconvenient when I travel. Plus all the discounts I can get using certain cards. I promise I will not get out of control with it.

3. Recover my savings

You know my sob story. I am a poor woman with nothing to my name after having my savings wiped out because of a man. Next year, I hope I will be able to earn it back together with his continuing repayment for the next few years.

4. Get my ass out and party at least once a month

I cooped myself at home far too long when I was married because I wanted the other half to be secured. Now, with the increasing workload and responsibilities at work, I am often exhausted at the end of the week. I must I must I must make myself visible to others and most importantly, be myself and have fun.

5. Get a few hunky lovers

Maybe one is enough but I have been deprived far too long. Plus, you know the way with men, it is often disappointing after unwrapping their gifts. If I need a fuck, it better be good. I suppose grabbing a few more wouldn't hurt. What can be more hurtful than the previous relationship.

6. Travel every two months

A couple of trips are already planned in the first half of 2012. I have the capacity to do more. Travel companions are welcomed. For your information, I don't mind staying in run down hotels and taking budget planes.

7. Change job

I enjoy what I do but I believe I am stuck in the wrong job. I love doing events but it is being removed slowly from my portfolio. All the fengshui book and masters are against a job change next year but if opportunity arises, I will pat my sorry ass, pack my bags and go.

Resolutions are meant to be realistic. I am putting my feet firmly on the ground and I can safely say my resolutions are realistic. What about yours?

Closure

2011-12-27T00:05:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Do not be scared of this word my friend. Closure may not be a bad thing.

I closed down my business more than a year ago and I realized I enjoy being an employee more than an employer. Yes, I admit am lazy.

I may close down this blog someday too, but not today.

Last week after my colleague's church wedding, I met my soon to be ex hubby to pass him the Christmas present. Neither of us wanted to engage in another argument and we went for a movie instead.

Mission Impossible might be the last movie together as lawfully wedded husband and wife.

Mission Impossible. How appropriate the title. How appropriate on our situation and how appropriate is it for us to go our separate ways from now.

He is still angry at me walking out on our marriage. He is still angry at me for signing the papers right after we came back from Bali. "If only you could be more patient with me," he said.

He also mentioned before he signed the papers only because I wanted it. I wondered how will it be like if I did not pack my bags and leave.

"We have gone too far to continue our relationship. No matter what, we still have this bond together in each other's heart," he gave me a hug and my tears rolled.

Tell me, why did I feel like I was the one that did wrong and being rejected for a second chance?

"I missed you," my voice shook while saying this and I could not continue any further.

Regrets? Aplenty. You see, I sort of married my best male companion and leaving him proved a little too hard to bear. I seriously swear I will not jump into bed with guys I get along with next time.

At least, I have an answer now. It is probably time I dry my tears, close the door behind and move on.

Christmas This Year

2011-12-24T14:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

This is the time you probably have nice dinners together with family or with friends. I had a special 7 course dinner prepared for me last night and I shall remember it well and brag about it. Thank you Sean!

What can I say? It is nice being THB with a fellowship eh. =)

This year, I have problems adjusting to being single. Everywhere I go and almost everything I do reminded me of him. It would be obvious that I am lying if I say I do not miss him at all. Afterall, we were together for years and it has not been easy. Keeping myself busy and getting him out of mind mind had been successful until this festive season.

I went Christmas shopping and I got him a gift. He came around to my office yesterday and got me one as well. I had tears in my eyes and it affected my mood resulting in everyone in my department knowing I will be lawfully single soon.

Christmas eve dinner tonight, there will be no yucky big bowl of salad made by the ex mother in law drenched in thousand island sauce for me to finish. How I miss frowning at raw cauliflower in my salad.

There will not be any noisy dinners hosted by people I don't like and making small talk with people I don't know at all. Of course no fancy parties to attend after that and hang around superficial people while sipping expensive champagne.

Church the next day? Hm.. I cry everytime I sing in church. Something in there that always trigger the water storage in my eyes. I am avoiding church invitations at all cost.

I am spending the Christmas of 2011 married in name and there is no one to cuddle and snuggle up with at night. This will be the toughest chalenge of all. If you feel emotional like me, let's hug and dry each other's tears.

No matter how sad I am, I remember I still have friends and family that cares. However overwhelming the warmth of family and friends, nothing beats the warmth from that special someone in your heart. I can only say my heart is cold and will be made vacant soon. Just give me a little more time.

Merry Christmas to all that care. Hope yours will be filled with fun, laughter, love and warmth from your loved ones.

Poll Evaluation 25: No Preference

2011-12-21T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Pretty boys are the rage in Asia.

If you are a female or you could be a male that likes male,

would you prefer your partner to be manly or pretty?

33.3 per cent voted manly looking with muscles. If you do not know what is manly, this is the man.

A few lines, stubs, that kind of smile. Best if their body comes with muscles. Strong enough to carry their woman to the bedroom. Orgasmic just thinking about it. How many women in this world can score? That is why most of the time such men only appear in front of us is on the screen.

16.7 per cent of the respondents voted pretty boys with muscles. Of course we do not want our man prettier and skinnier. No woman can stand that.

He is still pretty after so many years. Is he for real?

Men that look like this, no matter how muscular they are, you will only remember how pretty they are. I would love to admire pretty boys but anything more than that would be a challenge.

Then, half the respondents cast the natural vote. As long as he is natural it is fine. I can only say you people have no imagination la... Give you a chance to fantasise you put this. It is like checking the neutral, no preference box!

Clueless Men Diaries: Never Go Out?

2011-12-19T00:40:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Clueless: Never go out?
THB: I went out before.

Is that an insult? Do I look like I don't step out of the house?

I go to work every Monday to Friday except on public holidays.

I go out for a 5km jog at least twice a week.

I do have friends to go out with doing things I simply can't remember.

Although I do not party as much as before but I still go out for a drink occasionally.

I make an effort to visit the Goddess of Mercy temple on the first and 15 day of the lunar calendar.

I came back from Batam yesterday...

I was out for at a church wedding this afternoon too.

I went for a movie and went for a BBQ party after that.

What do you mean by I NEVER go out?

Oh wait, you mean why am I not out? Understand that there might be a phrasing problem. The reason why I am home because it is after midnight and I just came back from a day of activities.

Hey clueless, look at the clock. Could you ask me why am I not in bed instead?

Clueless Men Diaries: What's Up?

2011-12-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Clueless: Hi.

THB: Hi.

Clueless: What's up?

THB: My dick is up.

Oh sorry, I forgot I don't have one.

So what's up? The population in Singapore I am sure.

I am usually speechless and don't reply when I get this question. You see;

It is the festive season and my spirits ain't up. The nasty boss resigned and I am still not overly happy.

The ex put pictures of himself on Facebook with a bunch of women and drank expensive alcohol happily when he hasn't repaid me my money yet. The amount in my bank account hasn't go up much since I paid for the lawyer.

My weight didn't go up after five days of pigging out in foreign lands. Thankfully.

The only men I see recently is my dad, the old married men in my company and rowdy mainland Chinese in casinos. My libido definitely didn't go up.

After my year end review and the financial state of my company, I am sure my pay is not going up.

I am still young at heart and I don't want to grow up yet.

Oh wait, did you mean what didn't go up? Hey clueless, my middle fingers are up too but can't you just ask me how I am instead?

Poll Evaluation 24: Most will pay for sexual services

2011-12-11T15:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Will or have you paid for sexual services?

Approximately 52 percent of respondents will or have paid for sexual services. Males (48.45%) are more likely to pay for sexual services than females (3.09%).

Almost 30 per cent of male respondents and close to 19 percent of females will not.

There is a significant difference in the number between males and females' attitude to paid sexual services. Men will pay for sex while women are less likely. Does this mean men need it more, men could not control their urges or are their attitudes towards sex different? I would go for the last.

To many women including myself, sex is not just sex. Emotional element plays a big part and women felt used if men do not bother in foreplay. If men only need penetration and no time for romance then paid services is the way to go. Of course you can wank or use toys that resemble the vigina if you are not willing to pay for it.

Only three women indicated they will pay for sexual services. New age women have my respect. If men can pay for it why can't women? I will pay for young cute men if I receive a hefty alimony every month. Unlikely to happen but never say never.

Unlike Geylang or Orchard Towers for men, there are no such places for women. When supply is less than demand, the commodity is more expensive. There are more women in the sex trade and more competitive than men, hence male sexual services does not come cheap eh.

So, what do women do when they need it and when they are not wiling to pay for it? Like me, maybe most women chose to ignore the urge and distract themselves by doing something else. There are lots of pretty boys in my Korean drama. I still have my friends like me I can whine to, people I can go for drinks and feast on eye candies in the dark with. A little sad but I reckoned this is part of growing up which involves thinking before doing anything I may regret later.

In the past I will criticise this choice but I will not say it is wrong to pay for sexual services now because I understand some people really need it and unable to get it. If you do engage in it, always remember protection, protection and protection.

回忆，真让人着迷

2011-12-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

夫妻是指同床还是结为合法夫妻开始？该从哪儿算起？

不问谁欠谁，究尽是谁伤了谁，至少曾经是完美的。缘之已尽，恩断义绝可能吗？

看了看，想了想，算了算，好像不太可能。女人，真是复杂的动物。

所谓一日夫妻白日恩，恋过，爱过，伤过，痛过。就算分开了，回忆总是带着甜甜，酸酸，涩涩，苦苦的滋味。

回忆，真让人着迷。

Clueless Men Diaries: Why Your Facebook Messages Never Got Replies

2011-12-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

Tip of the day for clueless guys...

You may think you know women because you had a few but more than often you are really clueless. You don't know you suck because one bothered telling you. Having said that, you probably need to improve on your interpersonal skills too.

So, you finally got yourself a Facebook account and started discovering the joy of making friends without actual physical interaction. Grrrrreat.

Let's just say you found an attractive display picture and decided to get to know the person. She didn't know you but approved your request to be her friend anyway. You can give yourself a pat on the back for being a step closer or simply because maybe she find you attractive enough and don't mind being associated with you.

Now, you want to send her message. What do you type? Normal not so clueless men will put, "Hi." That's easy.

The challenge is the second line. You are not so clueless if you put, "How's your day," or, "How are things/work/school." Such questions leave the conversation open. Good.

Questions like,"What are you doing," and "Ready for tomorrow," and "where do you stay" are just weird but it gets answered sometimes. In case you have forgotten, I am online like you, I cannot stop tomorrow from coming like you even though I am not ready and I stay on planet Earth LIKE YOU! How about you? Mars?

Clueless and hopeless men will put,"I don't know you but I added you." Er... How would you like me to react? Thank you? Start introducing myself and tell you sob stories or would you like me to delete you for confirming I don't know you and there is no reason why you should be on my friend list?

Maybe you should go to her wall and read or look at some of her pictures if you are that lazy since a picture paint a thousand words. If you got a Eureka moment on why it seemed so clear your messages never got replied，there you go, clueless man.

Pretty Boy or Manly Man

2011-11-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Yesterday, women I know who are way past their prime either rushed home or took leave and stay home to watch MAMA.

MAMA? I scratched my head. I must be living under the rock for ages. For your information, MAMA stands for Mnet Asia Music Awards. It is like the Grammy but the Korean version? Difference is males are prettier than females.

2NE1 The cool girl group.

Super Junior

Kim Hyun Joong

I am not used to men wearing thick make up and applying heavy eyeliner but I must admit their synchronise dancing is fantastic. I liked it so much to the extent that I am contemplating to sign up for dance classes.

The rest of the groups are too sugary and I will have diabetes if I continue watching. Comments like, "Nose fake, forehead botoxed, eyelids done, something with the chin. Boobs fake cos never bounce when she walk. Same plastic surgeon, all look the same." Maybe not all Korean artises had work done and it is the stereotype on my part. I have too many comments and I bet if I am at the live performance I will not be able to get out alive..

It is refreshing to watch pretty boys. This brings to my question, do you prefer men pretty or manly?

Damn you STD!

2011-11-27T16:57:00.001+08:00

There is something going around and I don't quite like it. Just when I wanted to close the chapter of check ups and gynaes, someone I know told me her pap smear detected irregularities. Her report showed it is some virus infection and she had to laser off the cells. In simpler terms, she had STD.

Apparently the virus is inside her body for quite some time and it could be years before the virus surfaced. Scary part is this makes it impossible to tell who passed it on to her. It could be recent, it could be years ago when she was younger.

Yearly pap smear did not detect this until the virus started spreading. Pap smear could not detect anything at once but it is still important to get it done so it could detect something when there is any irregularity.

I didn't understand why some people insisted on using condoms in the past. Now that this struck someone close, I think I understand why and I am a little scared.

You see, although I can count the number of sex partners before, I have not been sexually active for more than half a year, only one partner for more than three years, no irregularity and technically should be declared "clean" but there is a possibility that I may have contracted STD from someone when I did not insist on using a condom.

Fuck. Seems like nobody is safe from the damn STD viruses. get yourself checked as soon as possible. If you had sex with people who had other partners and did not use a condom, congratulations. You should be as worried as I am.

Damn you STD!

Poll 23 Evaluation: Suppose We Could Try

2011-11-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

The HB Diaries received the lowest number of votes received so far for Poll 23. I should have added a "Non of the above" option because most people would be happy being the way they are. Should be more considerate. I apologize.

Out of the 37 who took part, more than half (56%) respondents have considered being bisexual. This may be for people who wanted the best of both worlds? People that could switch between men and women. Cool. Imagine a threesome with both your partners. Interesting...

32 per cent of respondents, who are female have considered having a relationship with another women. I would never imagine giving up on being straight but I guess I would never know if I don't try. Who knows? Maybe being lesbian could be more satisfying than being straight due to the shortness of certain tools and of course bad experience with the opposite sex. If I do become lesbian, be sure that there will be no thin, short and soft penis resemblence among my belongings.

Only a handful thought of being gay. May I know if you want to be the active one or the passive one? There are three times more women than men who would have a relationship with the opposite sex. Are men less open to options or are men more advanturous but refused to give up what they enjoy now?

Never try never know. I suppose we could try everything once in our lives.

Poll 22 Evaluation: While In Bangkok

2011-11-20T18:27:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Shop: Check

One bag to Bangkok and got two bags back.

Bang: Uncheck

Met some cute guys and got a dodgy massage but no, no bang.

Club & Drink: Check

Three nights in a row

Started with light drinks at Khao San and ended making friends with locals. Soon we were sharing shisha and eating out from the same plate.

When in a foreign country, do what the locals do. Go club in a Thai club called Brick.

Drink local whisky,

out of an ice bucket.

Second night at Route 66 at RCA

Two women and a bottle. Needless to say, we only managed half of it.

Third night at State Tower,

enjoying with this view

with a Hangovertini. Three glasses of this, I can get a bottle of whisky from RCA.

Cosmetic/Plastic Procedure: Uncheck
Maybe next time...

Food: Check

Roadside food versus some overhyped restaurants, I can only say restaurant food no fight.

Swim: Uncheck

Flood? Please la.

Checking out the trans: Uncheck

Hook up: Uncheck

More temple trips: Check

Despite warnings from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, we went ahead with this trip. I am glad we made it. I am happier I had good company.

Time flies when you are having fun. Five days is too short and it felt like we did not do anything much. I forgot why Bangkok is still one of most popular destinations for Singaporeans. Now I remember...

Visit to Gynae

2011-11-17T00:00:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Several years back, I called my friend cazy when she told me she enjoyed the scan at her gynaecologist. She said she loved the stick and found the insertion "shiok". I never had any experience with any medical professional equipment awake at that time and I found her comment weird.

I visited the gynaecologist for the first time on Monday and I finally understood why she sad that. By the way I AM NOT PREGNANT and neither am I in a hurry to be. For the children reading this, you do not have to be pregnant to visit a gynae. Gynaecology is the medical practice dealing with the health of the female reproductive system.

Anyway, the reason I have to visit a gynae is due to my monthly menstrual cramps. Unlike some lucky women, I have an issue with the worsening pain. Lately, I experienced pain for three days instead of one and when I had cramps, I was unable to go for work. At this stage in my life, I only have work to hold on to and I do not wish to lose my job due to my frequent absence. Painkillers are only temporary which does not solve the root of the problem.

The female gynae asked some routine questions and was shocked to find out I never had pap smear done.

Women who had sex are recommended to have this test done. She also recommended I do thin smear.

Both tests has to be done through insertion and to do that you must have had sexual intercourse before. Not like it is an issue for me.

While I lying down, the gynae commented, "Wah, you are in a fertile stage now. Your discharge is clear etc etc. " (-.-)"

I just smiled. I declared my maritial status as single. Even if I want to reproduce I need a partner.

Then, she took the tube which is longer than any dick and any vibrator I have seen, put a condom on it and insert it to my virgina while saying, "Relax. Relax."

The insertion was painful. This is what happens when you have not had a sex life for too long. It was not painful after the tube was inserted deeper. At the moment, I remembered why longer dicks are preferred to shorter ones. My friend's words rang in my head.

"See, this is your womb. Normal. This is your left ovary, healthy no cysts. This is your right ovary, no cyst you lucky girl," she said.

She sat me down after that and her diagnosis was, I probably have endometriosis. The more I read about it the more depressed I become and the more I believe I am destinied to live a lonely life.

While I still have to wait for my test results, I am put on medication in the form of contraceptive pills for the next three months. Though I do not have a partner now, I am reluctant to try contraceptive pills. What about the side effects I will experience now and in future. Nobody knows.

I am am also seeking traditional chinese medicine treatment at the moment. Although there are no guarantees just like contraceptives, I am more willing and decided to try the traditional remedy. Only time will tell how my reproductive system will turn out.

More Than Know Each Other

2011-11-14T22:58:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

An ex fling sent me a message on Linked-In and asked me if we know each other. The next message would be, "wanna meet up?".

I replied we more than know each other.

Damn it. How can you fuck someone and try to know them again without realising you actually succeeded the first time round?

When will I ever stop meeting this kind of guys?

Dear Buddha, God almighty, Allah, Shiva etc, please knock these people down with a car or contract some incurable diseases first before sending them to hell.

Traumatizing Thai Massage

2011-11-08T23:14:00.001+08:00

I got molested while having a massage in Bangkok on Sunday night and I still couldn't believe how it happened.

The masseur is a male if that is what you want to ask. I have not had a Thai massage since the last time I went to Bangkok which was five years ago but I do know it was a little different this time.

Thai massage seemed like it was from the kamasutra from some positions when done by the opposite sex. I thought it was funny initially until he touched my breasts!!!

Touch is not an appropriate word to use. Caress is a more suitable word.

His hands circled my breasts a few times. I thought it was normal because Balinese massage does massage that area but it is weird having a man doing it.

Then, I felt his hands cupping me and it felt like he was searching for my nipples. Once was weird then he tried again for a prolonged period and I told him to stop because it was ticklish. if this is not called molest I really have no idea what it is called.

What might have encouraged him was I didn't react when his hands brushed against my groin while he was massaging my thighs.

I swear I could feel his erection after the massage.

THB is traumatized. I may not go for a massage without requesting for a female if I do go for one in future. My one joy is killed by a masseur! *sobs*

On the other hand, if I wanted a male masseur and is willing to pay for a good looking muscular one at their red light district (which I wasn't) then I must say I got a bargain for an hour of arousing massage at 169 baht...

Bkk Situation

2011-11-04T21:58:00.001+08:00

Finally reached Bangkok and happy that the flood has not reach inner Bangkok at the moment.

"Not for a week at least," said the reception at the hotel.

Going back to enjoy my massage. See ya!

Poll Evaluation 21: 91% will sleep with their partners in two months

2011-11-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

How fast will you sleep with your first date?

Results as shown,

First date : 25%

Hey people, let me get this straight. We are on the same page and understand that it is a DATE, not One Night Stand rights? If the statistics reflects some truth, it is a pretty high percentage. Then again, you may like the person so much that you are unable to hold any further. If the other party feels the same, why not? I used to think so, but I have not met and know a guy that will move on to a proper relationship with women they slept with on the first date. I guess men still prefer women who know how to control. No harm holding up for a little longer.

By the Third Date : 14%

Many swear by only having sex at least till the third date. One date may not be enough to guage a person's character. Two dates is just to be sure. If it is the same for the third, then go ahead! It does pay to wait doesn't it?

Within two months : 42%

In a period of two months consisting of one to three or equivalent to more dates. Since this poll does not allow multiple choices, I can conclude 91 per cent of respondents will sleep with their partners within two months!

A few years: 1%

Not happening until after marriage: 10%

It's just difference beliefs and preference. We do know people who will only do it after signing the legal documents and when they have been together for very long, just to be on the safe side. THB thinks marriage is only a piece of paper with legal implications.

Fast or slow, it really depends on your luck in meeting the right one. Right now, enjoy life, enjoy sex and enjoy each other's company. Till then...

Poll Evaluation 20: It's a Tie!

2011-10-30T20:59:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day...

Which is your (most common) favourite sexual position?

Out of 105 votes, 76 percent of the voters voted for either missionary or doggy. It is a tie!

From a woman's point of view, missionary is the lazy position. There are a few reasons why women stick to this position. It could be her first time or the first time with a particular person. Act like a lamb the first time and unleash the tigress after that. It may not be her first time but there is an unwritten rule that you should not display all your skills at least for the first encounter. Missionary is the best position when you don't have the mood but would like to keep him busy for a while...

As for men, I believe it is the best position when you really want it. "Please help yourself" (while I keep my mind busy). I must say missionary is the most effective for smaller and shorter dicks as it guarantees more penetration unlike doggy.

People whose favourite position is the doggy should count your blessings because not everyone get to enjoy this position. The guy with tiny dick would not be able to stay in and the women who have the tiny would not get to enjoy it. You will not miss doggy until you get a tiny. Doggy requires some form of arm and leg muscle strength, so you may want to train up a little if your partner like taking his time to cum.

Then, we move on to the cowgirl. The passive partner upgrade to this contributing to an improved sex life. You can't always lie on your back and expect your partner to help themselves. Sometimes you have to be in control too. Men who have lighter partners will appreciate this while women who enjoy some control will enjoy this. It is all about teamwork. Some R&B helps if you have difficulty trying to sync to your partner. *wink*

Anal missionary, lapdance and the spoon have surprisingly low votes. Are these positions not common?

I have never tried the anal missionary but those I know who tried anal loved it. I guess it offers more penetration just like the orthodox missionary.

Trailing behind is lapdance. I wondered why this is not a favourite when it this position allows you to be closer to your partner physically. Then I remembered not everyone have a partner that is as keen on sex. This is more of a romantic and passionate position. Imagine man sitting while the woman straddle and both face to face, you start kissing and undressing...

I am not a fan of the spoon so no comments but I had a partner with a kinked dick who liked it. Maybe he don't need to look at my face...

Now now, the surprise of all surprise is nobody voted for standing. I thought it is an erotic position where couples do that in the shower. You know when both could not wait with the wet hair nice smell of soap and decided to start humping. I guess the men here need to train their arms and the women here need to lose some weight first before I put it as a choice again.

Cambodia Diaries: Nature & Man

2011-10-26T23:32:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Last post of Cambodia, okay don't need to jump for joy...

Creepy?

I should comb my hair or wave at the camera.

This is not the wall, these are the steps leading to another temple. How do ancient people climb?

They must have small feet.

Old and new together. Will be perfect if the restorers brush some colour on it.

Child peddlers everywhere. This boy followed me and begged for such a long time and I had to buy something...

Anyway, it will be useful to have a guide book while visiting. If they are willing to sell at $1, please grap a few copies because experienced peddlers will ask for $20. The more ulu the temple, the lower the prices.

I am not sure how much truth was in his sentence, "Please help me, I want to go to school." Whoever that is mugging for school now, PLEASE STUDY HARD.

Land Mine Victims

On a piece of paper it wrote something like, "We have stopped begging and want to live our lives with dignity. We want to send our children to school. XXX"

So, you know what happened to the money in my pocket again...

The beauty of Angkor Thom lies in how nature and manmade objects co-exist together. Heavy bricks must have distrupted the nature centuries ago but look how nature still protect all the manmade stuff by growing around it and supporting it, hence preventing it from collapsing.

Me sitting "in" the tree among its humanlike roots.

My Siem Reap trip was amazing. Till we meet again...

Cambodia Diaries: Do you believe in the supernatural?

2011-10-24T22:37:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

After a disappointing tour of a water village in the morning, I continued visiting temples in the afternoon. Even smaller and more secluded temples have government officials stationed at the gates to check if you had purchase a ticket.

Not only do they check the dates, they checked if you are the person on the ticket as well. Since the ticket is only coloured paper, I would suggest preparing your own card holder and landyard to hang the ticket around your neck instead of putting it in your pocket and checking if it is still there everytime you need it.

Lo Lei

Much smaller temple and also being restored.

Small and delicate. Lo Lei is one of my favourite.

A modern temple beside Lo Lei.


Paintings of Buddha at every corner. This is painted on the ceiling.

Preah Ko

Different angle give a different feeling and difference in colour of the pictures I took.

Sunset at Phnom Bakheng

Maybe it's the rainy season and the sun seemed to be hiding from us. We climbed down as soon as the sky turned dark. Maybe I should have caught the sunrise instead.

This place is flooded with tourists. Look at the number of people on top.

Some people believe its supernatural powers and some thought my jammed camera experience in Angkor Wat is a coincidence. It might be a coincidence but there is something I experienced that I would like to share.

It is either in Lo Lei or Preah Ko. As you know my camera is new and I tired playing around with the functions to test how well it worked. One of the functions which I used is called the "blink detector". It activates and prompt the photographer to take a picture again because someone blinked.

While taking pictures of the cravings of statues on the walls of the buildings, my camera indicated "blink detected" several times. I thought it might be the sun or my camera is lousy and did not give much thought to it.

Some people said their hair stand after I told them this incident. It is either I am unlucky to be able to encounter such things or the gods are smiling at me. I'm not sure about others who visited these places, but I felt good while I was there.

Do you believe in the supernatural?

Cambodia Diaries: Central Angkor

2011-10-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

I am still on the same day I visited Angkor Wat. Below are the lesser known temples around Angkor Wat.

South Gate

Statues welcoming you on your way in. Some does not have heads and the reason is mentioned in the last entry. If you look at their backs, you can tell whose heads is new.

Preah Pithu

Bayon

The distinctive face tower.

Secret garden?

Noticed there are a lot of stones on the ground?

These are from the original buildings that were removed and waiting to be restored. If you look closely, you will see numberings on every stone.

Phimeanakas & The Royal Palace

My wall paper on my phone since the trip last month. Something about it gave me a piece of mind everytime I look at it.

Amazing how trees can grow so beautifully.

Most mystical and nicest picture I have on my iPhone.

Old stones, newer stones and makeshift stairs everywhere.

Elephant Terrace

Damages and restoration are a common sight. This place is less than done with restoration.

After a while, you may find that the temples kind of looked the same but they do look different if you look closely. A guide book comes in handy.

Cambodia Diaries: Wat? Oh. Angkor Wat

2011-10-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Angkor Wat being one of the seven wonders of the world is a must visit place in Cambodia. Angkor Wat is ONE of the places to visit. It is only one temple and it is surrounded by many more temples. I strongly suggest you buy a 7 day pass for USD $100 if you want to visit all the temples. I only got a 3 day pass and I regretted not staying longer.

However, restoration works is visible everywhere.

Men and women alike, wear something to cover your knees if you want to enter. Noticed this is a norm for Hindi and Buddhist temples.


Me enjoying the greens and soaking myself in perspiration in the rainy and humid weather,


while recapping my A level history classes. Mahabharata anyone?

Highest point where pregnant women and children under 12 are not allowed to climb.

Hats and sunglasses must be removed before you are allowed to climb.

Glad that restoration works is going on and tourists safety is important.

The original size of the steps is like half the size of my feet.

Looking down, my legs turned wobbly...

There is a designated path to your right.

Buildings have four sides to represent one for each direction.

The sleeping buddha.

Headless Buddha is a common sight. Heart pain when I see that. Most heads were chopped off and stolen during the Khmer Rouge period.

Not sure what was wrong but my new camera jammed while trying to take this picture. I could not restart it or anything. Think I offended the supernatural because I stood on the step which was the same level as the statues.

I apologized and promised to show what I have seen in Cambodia to the world. The camera miraculously worked again...

To the left,

to the right are both headless statues.

How can your heart not ache when you see this? Angkor Wat is nicely restored but many of the temples around are not.

See how everyone is holding on to their life on their way down. Going up is easier than coming down.

Cambodia Diaries: Food Food Food

2011-10-16T01:25:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Day 1

The first restaurant visited felt like restaurants in the olden days in Singapore.

My dish was not served after everyone had their meal. Turned out that the server forgot my order. Not happy on the first day for the first meal.

I end up having a club sandwich and a beer back at the hotel.
USD $4.50 for a sandwich and $2.50 for a beer.
Here, I discovered the beauty and light taste of Angkor beer.

Day 2

Remember I mentioned you have to have some local currency for streetside food? It is for this.

It taste like kongbah (pork) wrapped with huat kueh. Must try for only $0.50!

Do try their french loaf too.

For teabreak, the discovery of cheap beer ($0.50) and Cambodian food!

If you can't imagine the taste, think non-spicy Thai food.

Average price per dish is $2.50.

Cambodian fast food but I think it is actually Chinese. Packed with people everytime I walked past. Both English and Chinese displayed the name as Happy Burger. It's fried so nothing special. One thing I noticed was they love displaying their food by piling. The higher the better.

No dinner again and I find myself back at the hotel restaurant. Too late to eat, hence I ordered a hot chocolate. The most expensive milo in my life at $3.50. My niece was with me that time so multiply the milo by two.

Day 3

After watching the sunrise and visiting more places, the driver brought us to a tourist place for lunch. Non spicy food. My body is too used to chili and missing it terribly in Cambodia.

Buffet dinner is complimentary at Smile of Angkor Theater.
$48 for an hour show with dinner.

Day 4

Keep hydrated orally.

Angkor Beer again at Cafe Central

First day of being vegetarian, hence a vegetarian burger.

As it was close to Mid-Autumn festival, they have roadshow selling mooncakes too!

Wait... Is this Cambodian?

Cambodia Diaries: Money

2011-10-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Money Money

Before visiting any country, you have to make a trip to the money changer. It is only common sense to have some local currency.

However, after consulting a friend who made a trip to Cambodia recently, I was told that USD is widely accepted and there is no need to hold Riel. I regretted heeding the advice because unlike Singapore, Cambodia does not return change in coins and Riel is all you will receive after buying anything.

Pay USD and get your change in Riel. How does that sound?

Furthermore, you do need local currency to pay for bottled water and food sold by the roadside.

I made the terrible mistake of trusting the money changer. Let's just say I was not cautious enough. I changed USD$300 for my trip and I walked off without taking a second look.

The problem was only highlighted to me in Cambodia when the locals rejected my note. A $20 bill had translucent tape on it and the $100 bill was slightly torn in the middle. The hotel, the roadside stalls and practically any place that ran a business rejected my money even though the money is not counterfeit.

After checking with the locals, they told me I could exchange my note in any bank for a small fee. The so-call banks is more like our money changer. I was charged $4 to exchange my faulty notes for usable money. It may not sound a lot but you can have a nice meal in a restaurant complete with a can of beer with that money in Cambodia.

The next time I exchange any USD, I am going to stand in front of the money changer and check every note before I leave.

5 Yes and It's Over

2011-10-09T16:31:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

The first time I applied for leave after my conversion from a temporary to a permanent employee is for my annulment. I took half a day off but really, the procedure is only five minutes.

Also, for the amount of money I paid the lawyer, we exchanged less than 10 lines.

Coincidently, my lawyer happened to be a school mate of my soon to be ex husband. Seriously, is there anyone in this world that don't know him?

Afraid that I will be nervous and break down, the lawyer asked me to watch and get a feel how it will be like. I am not someone that is afraid to speak in public and I am definitely used to stares from strangers from my previous job.

What made me nervous was, the soon to be ex husband was sitting beside me. I asked him to go off but he insisted to appear in court. I was afraid he will contest but he did not. He said he just wanted to be there.

"I solemnly swear it is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

Yes.

And the judge announced for us to wait three months.

The lawyer shook our hands, congratulated us and mentioned it went well.

He dropped me off after the hearing without uttering a word.

Guess it's really over.

Judgement Day

2011-10-06T19:09:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow afternoon, I will have to attend a court hearing for annulment of my marriage.

Will it be approved?

I don't feel anything now but I know I may burst into tears anytime tomorrow. Sometimes emotions can only be felt at the most inappropriate times.

Numbness, overflow of emotions and then tears. Tears comes after tears again until emotions and tears run dry.

I took an average or two years to get over failed relationships. How long will it take for me to recover from a failed marriage?

When judgement day comes, what will the verdict be?

I promised to do my best when I made my vows.

I seriously swear I tried my best in this marriage but to no avail because I am not married to myself.

I am tired and I want out.

Golden Sand

2011-10-05T12:45:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

On mrt one day...

"小姐，金沙怎么去？＂
"Miss, how do I go to Golden Sand?"

＂金沙？做什么的？＂
"Golden sand? What does the place do?"

＂赌场，赌场。＂
"Casino, casino."

Ah... Marina Bay Sands. Golden sand is the direct Chinese translation.

After showing him which stop he should get off, he started shivering. He could not contain his excitement.

Part of me felt guilty despite directing him to the place he wanted to go. I knew he was going to gamble. Hope he doesn't lose his life savings.

All that glitters is not gold. The parties, the glamour, the people and the thrill. A place where glamourous parties and the so call high class people frequents.

The lights, the lasers and its vibes. It is a place where it is easy to lose yourself and it doesn't have to be the casino.

My soon to be ex husband frequents this place. I wonder if all our money was spent on the overpriced alcohol or on the gambling table...

Poll Evaluation 19: My Situation Suck Most

2011-10-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

In regards to an earlier post on Sept 17 which my ex colleague and I had too much and puked all over.

Results of the poll is co-related to the frequency of event happening to the voter.

Least votes: Taking care of two puking colleagues alone

Taking care of drunk people does happen often. If you drink, you would have taken care of your friends several times when they were drunk. I remembered I had to resort to threathening them that I will leave them by the side of the road if they got drunk again. Not exactly a good situation but I guess it is bearable.

Second Least Votes: Losing your belongings while drunk

If you were dead drunk, you should be thankful you are still in one piece. At least what you lose is only money? I would hate to wake up losing a kidney. Nobody should be getting dead drunk frequently. If you do, you are qualified to be called an alcoholic and you should seek help.

Most votes: A Failed Marriage

Everybody get to take care of their drunk friends and everyone have the opportunity to get dead drunk but not everybody get to end their own marriage.

My situation suck the most. Thank you very much.

Still Hurts

2011-09-27T21:20:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

My heart feel heavy and I can feel my tears everytime people mention about him. My heart still hurts.

You know, I have already listed out why I left the man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. Quit asking me questions. There is a reason why I write it my out and the reason is to save myself from repeating so many times.

If you really want to know, scroll down and read. It is not complicated to begin with so it should not be difficult to understand unless you are really dumb.

I made a practical decision to cut my losses and in order to reach this goal, I had to spend more money. I am not happy. Unless you are going to chip in, don't ask me how much the piece of paper with the signature of the lawyer I have never met cost.

Thank you for asking how I am coping but I am fine as long as you don't keep asking. Non-stop questions really get on my nerves. You can talk about the trees, the grass and how many cockroaches I killed in my lifetime. It will definitely take things off my mind and I will be happy to discuss it.

"You will find someone better", seemed like the standard comfort words. Hello... For goodness sake, I DID NOT GET OUT OF A MARRIAGE BECAUSE I WANT SOMEONE BETTER.

If he can change for the better and admit he have problems and seek help, I will take him back. I left not because I don't love him. I left to prove my point and to save myself from being hurt deeper. It hurts because I still care and he probably doesn't. It still hurts.

Poll Evaluation 18: Only One Non-Fucking Month

2011-09-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

120 took part in the poll and 30 per cent could not last more than a month! ONLY ONE NON-FUCKING MONTH?! C'mon people, you can do better than that..

Compared to the time before I met my ex-husband, I believe I would be in the same category. When I was married, maybe one month? To think that I complained about the lack of sex then. Right now, I would be in the approaching six months category. Surprise surprise!

THB is not horny anymore?!!! Sigh... Not that I no longer get horny, it's just that I don't go around looking for sex like I used to. Hey, I am approaching 30 and I believe I have not reached my sexual peak yet. I really dunno how I can survive when the time comes.

Anyway, who are the 25 jokers that put "I'm a virgin"? All of you really need a spanking. I don't think my blog has turned into a sex education blog for virgins yet and 25 is a number too high. If you are a virgin, good for you. Don't start because the feeling of not having it can be unbearable sometimes. Well, most of the time.

For those that lasted six months and above, THB *salutes*. I am joining your club soon... (-.-)" I know you are all decent people. Somehow a few faces popped up when I was looking at the figures. You know who you are and don't worry, I won't tell...

Dear 24 per cent who have regular sex, good luck and I am definitely green with envy.

Whose Situation Sucked More?

2011-09-17T23:25:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Today was not easy for me. You see, I should be celebrating my first year wedding anniversary today if I had not agreed to file for an annulment. This sucks.

I was out drinking last night till dawn starting with 2 bottles of wine at The Wine Network at Dempsey with my colleagues.

Then,the new boy who is paid more than me suggested we experience a student's drinking life which we happily obliged. He brought us to this shop at Holiday Inn (Atrium) and bought a bottle of Chivas together with some mixers.

We ended up settling down near this bridge which is apprently known as the "Blue Bridge" near the river.

What is drinking without any games? I lost consciousness and slept after downing two plastic cup full of self mixed Burbon Coke.

I got really drunk and puked my lovely dinner from PS Cafe.

By the time I got up, the whole bottle was empty and I found myself alone while my colleagues were in the toilet together. One puking and little boy holding her hair.

I slept again until I heard the security guard talking... My colleague who was in the toilet puking left her bag in the open and someone happily walked up and took it away while I was asleep...

Sucks sucks sucks. I dunno whose situation sucked more. An anniversary you won't be celebrating, losing your valuables or taking care of two drunk colleagues alone?

Upset!!!!

2011-09-14T20:21:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Upset. Very upset. Just found out I am paid lower than a fresh graduate in the same department. He is holding the same degree. The difference is, I have more years of working experience and in the company longer.

Many say education means nothing. All right so now, my experiences meant nothing compared to a fresh graduate. I am soooooooo upset. If education and experiences meant nothing then what does?

I doubt he is fucking the boss. Upset. SOoooooooooo UPSET!

Lonely Big Bed

2011-09-11T20:10:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

While in Cambodia, I felt that the super single bed In the hotel was too big for some strange reason.

Superior Room at Prince d'Ankor

Although the bed is really comfortable, I really don't like sleeping on a bigger bed when I have to sleep alone. There is really so much space one person can take on a bed.

The bigger the bed, the lonelier I am... Now don't come inviting me to share your bed please.

A big bed can be comfortable and you can do many things together on a big bed. However, in terms of the sleeping part, I felt that the bigger the bed, the further apart couples sleep. The idea of sharing a bed is to be close to one another. A big bed defeats the purpose of sleeping together if you sleep further apart.

Anyway, now that the papers are already signed by both parties and I am in no hurry to look for another bed, I shall not worry about a bed that is too big as long as I have one to sleep on.

Poll Evaluation 17: Holiday

2011-09-07T11:02:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day...

Definition of a Holiday: A day free from work that one may spend at leisure, especially a day on which custom or the law dictates a halting of general business activity to commemorate or celebrate a particular event. (Free online dictionary)

I am having 3 days away from work and does that mean I am having a major holiday?

Anyway, there are no hard and fast rules about holiday. What matters is what it means to you. Where you go, who you go with and if you are happy. To the 64 per cent who voted "lots of sex in a foreign land", maybe you don't even need to go that far just to have sex unless it is cheap paid sex...

I was happy during my last trip to Bali. Really happy. It cleared my mind to the extent that I signed the annulment papers the very next day after I touched down.

Today, I am going away to sort out my feelings. Maybe when I come back, my heart will learn to be tough. May the powers of Angkor Wat bless me..

就只不过如此而已

2011-09-04T04:07:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

在情歌里，我听不到你的声音
在情书里，我读不到你的用心
在空气中，我闻不到你的存在
在食物里，我吃不出你的味道
在电视节目里，看不到我们的故事

我们在彼此的生活里扮演的角色
就只不过如此而已

Too Much, Too Little

2011-09-01T00:30:00.004+08:00

Confession of the day...

It was a good day until the law firm called.

I was happy with my current situation until he texted.

Love my job until I realized I have less than a month left.

Desired to take a long break until my bank account reminded me it is not possible.

Want to set up another business venture until I come to terms that I am too lazy.

Is there a way to enjoy life without worrying about money?

Is it possible to be happy without being in a relationship?

Can I do something I enjoy and make a living out of it?

I want to bake. I want to sew. I want to create. I want to serve. I want to sell. I want to socialize. I want to play.

Too many things to do, too little time.

Too many worries, too little thought.

Too much desire, too little effort.

I love you too much, you put in too little.

A win is a win

2011-08-29T00:12:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Okay peeps. What's done cannot be undone. A win is a win is a win. We knew the answer before it started but at least we fought for our beliefs.

I can't believe I took part in the conspiracy to help the guy whom close to 70 per cent of my fellow Singaporeans and I did not vote to be elected as president. Close to 70 per cent of Singaporeans who voted are unhappy.

Now, show this at KFC and you may get a free zinger meal.

I can see that you are smiling now.

At least there is something to make you smile.

(Please do not show this at KFC because I don't think they will be very happy if they see this.)

Hey Mr President, congratulations. My friend sent her well wishes too. I think she is the 70 per cent that did not vote for you... Now. the first task for you is to get people to know your name...

The Forest and The Tree

2011-08-25T00:40:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

While drinking with a colleague one evening, "Don't give up a forest for a tree. I gave up my forest only to realize my tree is rotting inside."

Colleague, "I am still stuck in the forest looking for my tree."

Picking a tree in a forest is like looking for a needle in a haystack. You never know what you are going to get until you get pricked or lost.

Some pick wisely due to accumulated knowledge. Maybe my knowledge is not deep enough.

Some pick carefully because they had been pricked before. I probably did not learn from past mistakes.

Some people are arguably just plain lucky.

My tree is dying and my forest is getting smaller. When the time comes, what do I do with my tree?

To cut or burn or to make something out of it?

Poll Evaluation 16: It's Only a Condom

2011-08-21T02:00:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day...

This topic came about when my lunch buddy came to my desk flushed and said, "This guy in front of me at the vending machine dropped a condom and I did not dare to tell him. A middle aged auntie behind me told him instead. He picked it up and walked away without taking his drink."

I would not be embarressed and not picked the damn condom up but this was apparently it an issue for the poor girl who had to go around telling at least five other parties in the department. It felt like kiss and tell session during secondary school days. I almost forgot I am working in a place full of women inexperience with the opposite sex and sex is rarely discussed.

By right, I think I should be excited but condoms and sex are out of my life at the moment. I never had the issue with looking at condoms because I used to buy and feel them?

"You should have picked it up and return it to him. It's not like you know him and will remember who he is," I said.

The person who dropped the condom is probably more embarressed than her. Imagine a cute girl witnessing the act. How could you put a condom in your back pocket and not remember? Then again, if you are meant to be embarressed by a condom you would have dropped it while trying to get money out from your wallet as well.

My heart go out to the poor guy. I believe he will not show up in the same pantry anymore and will never put his condom in his back pocket again. He may put it in his wallet though...

There is nothing wrong with carrying a condom around and take it easy if it ever embarress you. It's only a condom and being embarressed is a small price to pay compared to not having one and contracting sexual diseases later. Right?

Bali Bali

2011-08-19T00:00:00.003+08:00

Confession of the day...

Warmth from the sun. Freshly baked skin. I am tan.

Caught a chill from the cool breeze. I deserved it.

Land of the gods. They must be watching over me. I am blessed.

(Pic taken at W Hotel along Seminyak Beach)

I walk. I walked without complains.

I eat. I ate without watching my weight.

I drink. I drank without getting drunk.

I see. I watch. I admired topless women on the beach.

Why no bottomless men? I wondered.

Trouble trouble, my troubles seemed so far away.

Away away, the waves swept it away.

Bali Bali, I will be back...

I Like my Shadow

2011-08-16T22:30:00.003+08:00

Confession of the day...

A picture say a thousand words...

Lost most of my pics but I still have some in my phone.

Thank goodness.

I may not be in the best shape but I like my shadow.

Different Shape

2011-08-11T00:10:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

I read a comment asking why the reader have this vision that I am out of shape. Beats me.

Considering that I can longer consider myself as a sweet young thing, I have cellulite and stretch marks on my hip and thighs despite not having any kids yet. Having to work out twice if not thrice as hard to maintain my current weight and for some reason my arms refused to tone up as easily like they used to, I am out of shape indeed.

This brings a question, is the hourglass the standard figure men have the perception on women?

How many gals have the so call perfect hourglass figure?

How can I be considered out of shape when I was never that shape?

Then again, round is a shape too. So are squares, rectangles and ovals.

How can you call other shapes out of shape when they are in shape? 

 

Women happen to come in all shapes and sizes the same way men why happen to have

different preferences.

I am not out of shape. I am only in a different shape.

This Is Just...

2011-08-08T00:31:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

I could be in Bali now if not for this Head of XX coming to Singapore office to put some process and structure in my current job which I will only be around for the next 5 weeks. All the head of departments are so damn young and I wonder if they have enough experience. Some do some don't. No consistency. No wonder the bank is losing money. You can take an ang moh out of their country but you cannot take the ang moh mentality out of them. This is just some random bitching.

I am burnt out everyday after work for the past few weeks and I apologize for the first time on The HB Diaries for the lack of updates. I always think it is crap to apologize to people in the virtual world for not updating your own blog but then again, I can be quite crappy sometimes. This is just some random crap.

Can someone tell me why am I always planning my life around others and ruining my own? Okay, I have no career hence I have to plan around others in terms of work. Why did I do that to my personal life as well? This is just a habit. If I ever have kids I am going to train them to think for themselves first.

In order to stop this foolishness and selflessness, I decided to reward myself by bring myself to a my fantasy world and I finished watching a Korean drama serial. All 20 episodes of it. I also decided to scream at the soon to be ex husband in the middle of the night, dragged my ass out of home and burn a hole in my pocket. Despite all that I am not happier, not smarter and I still hate myself for loving him. This is just me, I figured.

Raining Virgins

2011-08-03T22:30:00.004+08:00

Confession of the day...

I am working in a sexually deprived place or rather, a place where people are not open about sex as I was used to.

There is a big boss who was married and is now staying with her boyfriend. When she hear people talk about sex, she act shy and say things like, " Oh, don't talk to me about it," and walk away quickly as if words alone will dirty her ears. Oh please. I don't believe you are that innocent.

While drinking with a few colleagues, this 26 year old gal told me she never had a boyfriend. Never had a boyfriend does not mean never done it before for youngsters t nowadays, so I had to probe. Indeed, she is still as original as she claimed she is. Oh man. Young people should not waste their youth working. Strike a balance between personal life and work please.

Then there is another hot gal who looked nothing like her age. She loves to drink loves to club but told me one night, "I am not a loose woman." I thought being 30 and a virgin was a big enough challenge but 37... She is not the oldest virgin in the department. There are two older ones. Wow wow wow.

Whoever have unmarried friends or uncles that are looking for single mature women should definitely come work in my department. I thought people are getting more open minded now but apparently it isn't the case.

If there is a competition on where to find the most virgins, my department will be second to er... teaching?

It's raining virgins. It doesn't seem to be a bad thing to be a virgin. Never do will never know how it feels and will never crave for it.

Poll 15: Kinda Drunk

2011-07-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

What kind of drunk am I?

Weepy, angry, stripper, happy or needy drunk?

Why do people drink when they are upset? Why do I drink when I am upset?

Drinking kills your brain cells and manipulate you into thinking you will be fine in the morning. You really don't. You will only wake up to realize things really have not changed.

Drink when there is an occasion and if you are in the mood to. Anyway, I am sadden by the thought that not many bother what kind of drunk I am. Do you not know?

31 per cent thought I am a stripper drunk. Hello, the questions is not "What kind of drunk would you like me to be"? I hardly think I am close. Besides going into the shower, I do not take off my clothes for anything else. Stripper drunk? Nah...

The other 25 per cent think I am a Happy Drunk. Well well, who doesn't love a Happy Drunk and who hates to be around one? If you seek comfort in alcohol and it should make you happy even if it is only momentarily. Happy people are more attractive with or without alcohol.

As for vote which got the third highest number of votes, sigh... I think those who took part in the poll really don't know me well. I never cling on to people when I am drunk. Not even onto men.

I find clingly and weepy drunks particularly irritating. Not only do I think it is all pretence and it spoils everyone's night having to shower them attention unwillingly. If you can't drink, don't drink so much.

Well done on the last choice. I definitely don't pick up fights and splew vulgarities no matter how much I want to do it. I am not an alcoholic and I don't need to check into the rehabilitation centre because I am not an angry drunk!

I do get kinda drunk but I have never drink and drank till I got so drunk and passed out. Everything's within control.

Seriously No Mood

2011-07-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

For some strange reason, I am not in the mood for anything.

I get irritated when people tell me their choice is "anything". I hate people who cannot make decisions but I wonder why am I still asking them for their opinion.

When anyone asked if I would like to do something, instead of "anything" I said okay, count me in. Activities never seem to materialize.

Want go Genting for the weekend? Okay, count me in.

Want go and catch up? Okay, count me in.

Want go for hip hop lessons? Okay, count me in.

Count me in count me in count me in!!! But why do I always have difficulty finding people like myself to hang out with. Always there for people but no one there for me. I need someone who can shut up by my side. No mood to entertain questions.

My contract job is ending soon and it is ringing at the back of my head. I am in the mood to search for a new job but not in the mood to go for interviews. Something is not right. No sense of urgency at all. I just want to take a break, chill at home and do nothing for a while but my pockets are not deep enough.

I called up the lawyer office last week and they told me my annulment of marriage letter is ready. I am ready to sign but I am not in the mood to apply for a day leave and go down to sign. Waste a day of leave to do something that will spoil my mood. Is this call lazy or unwilling?

There are at least 10 Korean drama serials sitting in my external hard drive and I am not in the mood to watch them. No commercials, with subtitles but I would rather play kiddish games on Facebook till midnight. Zynga games are effective boredom killers.

Sex. Hm... Yeah there is always masturbation but the useless toys all ran out of batteries. I am using rechargable batteries and best thing is, I lost the charger. I am not in the mood to go all the way down to the supermarket to buy batteries. No mood. Seriously no mood.

Sigh, Sex

2011-07-23T16:20:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

My mum walked in with an awkward expression, "You know the xxx's part-time maid is also getting a divorce. The husband goes out everyday, don't take care for the family and wants sex everyday...."

"Divorce is very common now," I said.

Our conversation ended there. I wanted to tell my mum if my soon to be ex husband wanted sex everyday, I might not have moved back home. If there is intimacy in the marriage, I might not have given up hope totally.

Some stay in a relationship because of sex, some because of money. I did not mind not having the latter, I mind not having the former.

Sex. Whoever wants it does not always gets it. My emotional, mental and physical state is not in a good shape and my non-existent sex life is set to break a record. Sigh, sex.

Poll Evaluation 14: It Doesn't Cost A Cent

2011-07-20T01:00:00.008+08:00

Confession of the day...

The horny tribe has spoken. When horny, the top three choices are,

1. Masturbate
2. Watch some porn
3. Look for a friend with benefit

You can never depend on someone else to satisfy you and you know yourself best. For men, not too much please or people will start discussing why your right arm is thicker than your left. It is fun to gossip about others but not when you are the topic. As for women, I do not think the percentage is high but I believe there are women who masturbates when they are horny. Sometimes a woman need to learn how to love and please herself. Now don't be an idiot and go suggesting to help women masturbate because if they have to masturbate they don't need you.

Watching porn, seriously? I thought watching porn makes you hornier? Or you watch porn when you are horny so you can go and masturbate? Actually I think watching porn and fantasizing has a close relationship. Porn is not realistic and some are fantasy. What do you do when you get aroused by fantasies? Masturbate again.

Then, some people are lucky enough to have friends with benefits. Are you that lucky or are you one of those irritating ones that go around asking people to be their fuck buddies? If you need a shag, work for it. A woman ought to be wooed even though she can be a friend with benefit.

For some reason, the top two results seemed to link back to masturbation... Safest and it doesn't cost a cent...

Light At The End of the Tunnel

2011-07-17T13:50:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Take a walk, get some fresh air everytime you need to clear your mind. The walk yesterday was definitely a walk to remember. It was the last time the railway track I walked is open to public.

Never in my life did I walk on my heels (not high heels thank goodness for having common sense) and on my toes interchangebly for so long in a pair of flats.

From Rail Mall to Bouna Vista...

Seven kilometres.

I can't remember know how many stones I kicked accidently causing me to wince in pain.

It hurts but it is not that painful for me give up.

Perservere and walk on and I found many people like me.

We walked at different pace, but I am not alone.

What made it memorable was having my family with me from start till the end.

There is light at the end of every tunnel.

Cheer up.

I Must Have Lost My Mind

2011-07-14T01:45:00.008+08:00

Confession of the day...

Friend, am I silly? Am I stupid or have I simply lost my mind?

When he helped sent my stuff to my doorstep, I told him I will give him a chance if he agree to go for marriage counselling. I waited for his call as the weeks went by. It drove me crazy during the wait.

Why? I asked why. Why is he not calling? Why? Why do I feel like I am the one in the wrong and being the anxious and helpless one?

No calls, no actions and I rang him up lashing out at him. Why ask for another chance when you don't take it? Prove me wrong for wanting to leave but I proved myself wrong yet again.

My hopes were dashed and I washed my face with tears that night. Tears of anger from disappointment. I understand how one can be heartbroken without being sad now. I am past that stage.

Was I too impulsive? Has everyone been telling me the things I want to hear or are they able to see things more clearly than me? I asked myself, will I tell my friends the same thing if it happened to them? Guess I understand why some people decided to ignore advices and follow their heart. I did not bring my brain along with me the last time I followed my heart. Bringing it along with me is not good enough, I should actually use it.

I thought I am smart. I guess I could be considered smart in some way but I admit that I am not very bright in certain areas too. I still miss him a lot. He is not perfect but can't deny I still love him as much as the day I said I do.

I must be silly. I must be stupid. I must have lost my mind.

Healthier Me

2011-07-10T21:00:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

THB did not choose to leave a marriage to find someone better. Stop telling her crap like the next one will be better. The next one may be better?

Sure, there are different types of shit and I felt like I just had a case of diarrhea. Current situation is, I took some charcoal pills but I do not know when it will end. This is going to be the longest standing case of diarrhea ever in my life.

Diarrhea is the worst kind of shit. It sucks up your energy and bank account while you try to get rid of it.

Usually I have constipation but I guess people do get poisoning once in a while no matter how careful they are. Go with the flow and purge your body of those toxins. After going through the pain will emerge a newer healthier me till the next poisoning...

Treatment for the Broken Hearted

2011-07-07T00:30:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Some people say, you can tell your state of mind from your belongings.

I am in a bad shape. Bad bad shape...

If thoughts are pieces of clothing, I will have one each day to last a year. Some oversize, some too small to fit, some old, torn and worn and yet they are still piled in my wardrobe because I could not bear to part.

If clothing are troubles, I should stop buying new ones because I have far too many...

To think I claimed I never believe in retail therapy. My idea of retail therapy is buying expensive bags. Retail therapy is basically buying things to make yourself feel better. Guess I was deceiving myself all along.

Instead of getting myself dead drunk after my examinations last weekend, I stayed home and got busy sorting out my thoughts. I really did not do much thinking. I was merely playing mix and match. Hanging, folding and ironing, taking occasional breaks in between sneezes while the dust were set free and watching the air purifier go round and round .

My nose was miserable but I felt emotionally better. Maybe I should make this a monthly event.

Who would have guessed tidying up is so therapeutic. Everybody should tidy up once in a while because it is free, you save money and suicide rates may decrease. This should be researched and developed into some kind of treatment for the broken hearted.

Poll Evaluation 13: HOLIDAY!

2011-07-03T18:33:00.003+08:00

Confession of the day...

Despite hitting another valley of darkness in this journey called life, I have not been exceptionally emotional.

Fact was, I had to repress any trace of emotions to be mentally prepared for an examination. I am actually glad that I have not one but two examinations to prepare for. Am I not crazy?

Before this post and the end of the poll, I had booked myself for a trip with my family. Come on, this is the most common method to getaway from showing up at your ex's house and prevent you from texting them because international calls and texts could cost more than the holiday. I think I should look for a job overseas not only to clear my head but maybe also to meet and find someone new.

Looking for someone new is easier said than done. You do know I am not the type that swing from one tree to the other so easily right? When a tree is dying, I am the type that stays and mourn until the leaves wilt, the flowers fall and then my heart will die in a slow excruciating manner. Drama, but that is how my heart operates.

Removing someone completely from your life takes more than deleting them from your Facebook account, your messenger and their number from your phone. It is only a click of a button. How is it call deleting if you still remember their number by heart? Relationships do not end after one deal. It may be a bad deal this time but leave the door open as there be better deals that will follow in future. One thing I learnt while with him...Afterall, the person that offered the bad deal knows.

Anyway, I am still in the midst of getting this other degree and I have committed myself to volunteering. I hope my efforts pay off.

After working so hard, it is only right that I pamper myself with a well deserved holiday. That is. to spend my hard earned money on myself.

Parents' Words

2011-06-30T00:00:00.005+08:00

Confession of the day...

My parents asked about him. Did he say anything? Did he do anything?

He said if it is possible, he hope I can give this marriage another chance.

He apologized again.

He hasn't changed.

I said I may give us another chance but he hasn't done anything...

Parents

Sorry so?

He didn't know how fortunate he is.

Two aged parents and he is the only child.

He smokes and he drinks. Plus, he is not in the best of health.

If he can't tell you where all the money went, he must be gambling.

He is not being honest at all. This is not marriage.

Throw this relationship away.

Here Comes The BITCH!

2011-06-27T00:40:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

I salute couples who are committed to each other and have the discipline to work hard and save harder for their future. Those secondary spendings to me in the past seemed to be mandatory to most couples. Weddings and having a nest of their own.

I did not mind not throwing a dinner and moving in with the in law. Look at what happened to me. It left me unhappy, poorer and a much bitter woman. Did I mention I paid for the lawyer too?

Wished I had been tougher and insisted on having things done my way. Maybe things will be different if I had been a real bitch. It is probably my easy-going attitude that people around me take for granted. I am tired of being nice and being take advantage of.

Unhappiness started from not listening and accomodating to each other. My frustration on my abnormal sex drive and non-existent sex life. My love of getting my passport stamped and being grounded for close to two years went ignored. Guess I was really unhappy waiting.

He always ask me to make my own plans and not to wait for him. I never make plans and time for friends and family because I wanted to be available whenever he needed me. We cannot both make plans for everything else and not for each other. We will fail.

One has to sacrifice and I decided it would be me. I was unable to be the kind of woman that can split herself into many parts while with somebody. When I love, I love wholeheartedly and I give everything I have. It proved to be a heavy price to pay. I suppose I do not love unconditionally. My condition was to be happy and I was not.

Available or not available, we eventually failed. Any relationships required both barties to give and take. Not one give while the other take.

I pinned too much hopes on a man and I had been too hard on myself. I am not going to wait anymore. I am going to do things my way from now on. Here comes the BITCH!

Stubborn

2011-06-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Did I made a mistake? I wondered.

To stay with someone I thought I loved and then to marry.

When I found out that he had taken money from our joint account without my knowledge the first time, I let it go. I buried it in me for sometime before telling my family and very close friends.

They will tell me the same thing. Leave him. A man that can't control his finance is trouble.

We have been together for a couple of years. How could I leave him because of money? Besides, he is already in his 40s. How bad can he be?

"Are you sure? How is the debt," they echoed on different occasions when I told them I was getting married later.

"Solved. It's not a problem anymore," I answered. Deep down, I was embarressed to tell them the truth.

Truth was, I did not know the progress. I never get to see any bank statements though I asked for it. He said only a little bit more and asked me not to nag because I sounded like his mum. Fine...

He will know what to do, I told myself. How could he not do anything about it when I already threathened to leave?

Wedding dinner?

"Oh we think it is a waste of money."

Truth was, we couldn't afford it. Which woman does not want to be fussed over and be pretty on her wedding day in front of her friends and relative? It's okay I thought. As long as we are happy together, it's all that matters. Besides, I refused to be called materialistic for wanting all those things.

We could save up, hold the dinner, take beautiful wedding pictures and go for our honeymoon later. Later does not mean never. It never happened because he took the money out again. There is really nothing we can do with $82 left.

I was stubborn. I refused to admit there was something wrong. I wanted to show others so badly that I made the right choice. Alas, of all people he had to prove me wrong. Of all people...

I was stubborn. I was wrong to be stubborn.

I Am Scared

2011-06-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Some people asked if I have made up my mind. I did, but I am not sure if I made the right decision.

Did I make a mistake in looking for a lawyer so fast? Could we seeked help first?

I wanted to get out of this mess FAST. Leaving is the easiest and fastest way. Trying requires more time and effort.

Truth is, I am scared.

What if we remained married and he suddenly dropped dead? That makes me liable for all his debts. I am not in the right state and position and I am not willing to settle debts that I had no part in. Why did I not think of this before I got married? Yes, I am a selfish bitch.

I am scared.

What if I give it another go and it fail again? It won't be an annulment but divorce this time. Do I really want to wait three years for separation and another two years for divorce? What is the hurry? It's not like we already have someone else.

I am scared. I really am.

If I gave him another chance and we screw up again, I do not deserve any sympathy. I need support to go on.

Seeing him today makes my day in some way. Although I went to pack my remaining stuff and we quarrelled again. I was happy to see him. I wanted to hold his hand, hug and cuddle in bed and sleep on his arm again so much. He is my husband after all.

I am being silly ain't I?

It is easy to ask me to leave but I am the one that has to go through the pain. Staying requires committment, leaving requires courage. I am scared.

Poll Evaluation 12: Leave

2011-06-17T01:30:00.003+08:00

Confession of the day...

When trust and respect is lost so early in marriage, leave.

I used to wonder why people get married only to spend more money to leave each other later.

Now, I am in their shoes. Soon, I will be burning a hole in my pocket to leave the man I vowed to stay with "in sickness and in health" and the blah blah blah crap I declared in front of my family...

Before I posted the reason for wanting to get out of this marriage, the majority of the voters asked me to wait because maybe things will get better. After I posted the reason, the voters had a change of hearts and wanted me to leave.

I loved this man and I have given him enough chances. Giving chances means time is already spent and the situation clearly did not improve. It was naive of me to marry despite the problems. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks and you cannot teach a man how to save up if he does not want to learn.

Right now, I am unable to bring myself to forgive and forget no matter how much love there is. I too, want to stay in this marriage and hope things will work out but my trust was betrayed and I have no courage to continue further.

I am not seeking approval nor understanding. Neither am I seeking an opinion. My mind was already made up before I announced it.

They only way to stay in this marriage is if I get into a car accident, roll down a hill and lose my memory. Yes I signed on the dotted line, but that does not and I am not going to let that determine how my life should be lived.

My mind is set, I am leaving.

Holding Up All Right

2011-06-14T00:45:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

How are you is not an ice-breaker anymore. Somehow I believe people who asked me this question recently are genuinely concerned about my general well-being.

I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

Apart from occasional tears of anger and hurt which does not last long, I guess I am fine. I have been eating well and sleeping well. A little better than usual.

Considering that I am not crying my eyes swollen, I am not crying my heart out and I am definitely not depressed. I could be abnormal. Maybe it's too early for any feelings to set in.

In the midst of all this, I had been busy doing my assignment and preparing for my exam. I even volunteered to be a research assistant writing for AWARE. I guess being busy helps.

Sex? Let's not even go there. This isn't the right time to engage in it. Who can I do it with man? Not with the soon to be ex husband and definitely not with anyone else. I don't want to be labelled as an adulterer when the annulment is not being finalized yet.

Other than that, I am holding up all right...

Ask OCBC

2011-06-11T14:15:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

I did it. I picked up the phone and asked OCBC how can anyone withdraw money from an account without access. Do you know what they said?

They asked me to go back and ask the person who withdrew the money... Seriously? This was the best answer I got.

Ask OCBC? Seriously...

This bank grant people access to bank accounts by issuing ATM cards with a call but I have to go down to the branch and produce my identity card and signature when I want to close the account.

Nice.

Easy Money

2011-06-09T00:00:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day...

I called a lawyer my friend recommended a few days ago and his assistant picked up.

Simple questions asked;

1. When did you get married?

Ans: 17 September 2010

2. Do you have a HDB flat together?

Ans: No

3. Do you have kids?

Ans: No

4. Are you seeking alimony?

Ans: No

5. Is you husband agreeable for annulment?

Ans: Yes

Why do I have a feeling this is going to be easy money for the lawyer?

Can you please call me up quickly to confirm my appointment?

I am sure many lawyers are willing to take up my case....

Worked Up Over Money

2011-06-07T08:08:00.005+08:00

Confession of the day...

Many concerned souls asked what happened to me and the other half. I cry everytime I talked about it. My heart aches.

Issues can be worked out, provided if the other party is willing to.

To cut the long story short, no decent man will clear your joint bank account twice without your knowledge. Once before marriage and another time after marriage. On top of it, there is an unidentifiable credit card debt which is as much as some people's annual salary.

Some said I shouldn't even marry him after the first incident, but that is not important because I married him anyway.

What is a wife if you could not share monetary woes? What is a husband if he has to sneak around to get his hands on money saved for the future? He does not have access to the bank account. How he got the money out, I would like to ask OCBC.

The last time I checked, there is less than a hundred dollars inside after two years of saving up. Tell me how wrong I am to get worked up over money.

Please don't ask me to wait and see and maybe things will improve because it clearly hasn't. The debt was more than the original amount and whatever that is left is less than the last time.

Maybe he will change this time, maybe he won't.

One thing I know for sure, I am unable to live with this man right now.

Poll Evaluation 11: Yes, Sex is Best Without Commitment

2011-06-04T15:15:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Yes. Sex is best without commitment.

It's not my point of view. Apparently 58 per cent who took part in the poll think sex is best without commitment. Be it agree slightly or agree, I take it as the latter.

Why is sex best without commitment? Commitment involves emotions. Does that mean when emotions are involved, the quality of sex goes down?

There are different levels of commitment. For instance, when you are newly committed to a boy girl relationship with someone, you do your best in bed to please the other party because you want them to be happy.

After a while, they start pissing you off and the last thing you want to do is to please them. You become lazy. Blowjobs reduces or you stop going down on them. The only place you do it only on the bed, that is if you still do it at all. It the case of "get over and be done with it".

Sometimes you only want to sleep and you are just happy sleeping on the same bed.

Commitment does affect sex if you look at it this way.

There is another emotion that enhances sex. That is passion.

Do you still remember passion? Attraction and curiousity of the other person. The fire in you that wanted and needed to be fulfilled by another person. Passion is a factor that determines if sex is good or bad, with or without commitment.

In relationships, the level of commitment increases but passion dies. It's like pouring water over fire constantly. Soon the fire is gone and it leaves you cold. No wonder sex is affected!

Is sex best without commitment? My answer was a no initially, but it is a yes now.

I'm Just Bitter

2011-05-31T20:55:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

I am not the perfect woman

I thought I had it all

I finally found someone who treated me well

I married him

We truly loved each other

Sad to say, it won't be a happily ever after

Little by little, we could build a future

Bit by bit, we could save a fortune

Inch by inch, we could walka distance

Piece by piece, I am picking up my shattered heart

First time it happened, unlucky me

Second time it happened, stupid me

Third time it happens, I deserved it

The thought of it hapening again scares me

Some say my life is a drama

Some say it is like a never ending book

I think it is an unpredictable roller coaster ride

I'm not whining at life

Since when did I blame the heavens, the people or myself?

If anything, I blame him for treating me this way

I'm not whining

I'm just bitter

Eight Months

2011-05-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

After eight months of matrimony, THB and the other half have decided to go on our separate ways...

I am packing my stuff while writing this.

Please don't ask me any questions for the time being. Many think it is about sex, but it isn't. It isn't a third party either.

If talking helps, we would not be at this stage now.

I forgave and forget but only to be hurt by the same issue again. I am very disappointed and I am unable to trust and respect this man anymore. The separation would be the best for the both of us.

I wish mysef all the best.

Drinking Problem

2011-05-26T00:00:00.009+08:00

Confession of the day...

Alcohol doesn't solve problems

Alcohol doesn't numb feelings

It numbs your mind

Makes you depressed

Alcohol is evil

And, I have a problem with alcohol

Two Saturdays ago, feeling depressed, I got a gal friend out for a drink. A sense of deja vu crept in.

I was hugging, crying and puking into a toilet bowl at St James while my friend held my hair after finishing a bottle of vodka (together with a few others).

"Isn't this familar," I asked, "I wonder how many butts sat on this bowl before I puked in it."

Apparently this was a repeat of a scene five years ago after my first major heartbreak. Despite being married five years later, little did she expect to render such service to me again...

"Hur hur..." She laughed, "You make this scene very funny."

Being funny was the last thing on my mind, but I guess I always managed to make a joke out of whatever shit I am in.

Half an hour in the toilet, my head was spinning and I couldn't really walk straight and I decided to end the night.

When I opened my eyes, I was less than 20 seconds cab ride away from my destination. By then, my stomach was bloated with vodka and I decided to swallow my vomitus. However, more came right out and I puked on the cab and on myself.

I do have a drinking problem. The problem is, I can't drink...

Some Time to Think

2011-05-23T00:00:00.006+08:00

Confession of the day...

Last Saturday was a good day day to get married apparently. I you are around my age, you would have friends and family or know someone with friends or family that got married on Saturday.

Marriage. Two individuals' promises and commitment to stay with one another beating all odds.

One question came to my mind. Why are Singaporeans allowed to get married and file for annulment within year? I guess our government knows promises are hard to keep. Hence, one year is like a marriage probation.

The past two weeks had been emotional as there were many issues to be ironed out and many for me to ponder on regarding my marriage.

To put it simply, for a pair of newly weds, I can't remember when was the last time we had sex. I know it is not all about sex but sex is important. He spent quite some time sleeping on the couch in the living room and I am no longer wearing my wedding and engagement ring proudly on my finger anymore.

Yes. It has gotten to that stage. Just that I have not consulted a lawyer yet.

The wedding I attended made me think twice about the impending separation. Maybe I should give us another chance. As much as I wanted to, it is indeed difficult. Everytime we talk, we ended up fighting. The mother-in-law is not making things any easier.

Right now, I don't think I am filing for an anulment yet but I have decided to move out for a while. We need to be apart for a while and I need some time to think.

Not Complaining

2011-05-20T00:00:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

Eight months in a company and five change in reporting line. It will be the sixth soon. Ain't I glad there is something in this world that changes faster than relationships? Come to think of it, I did not even change men so fast during my peak.

Suddenly gloomy skies turned sunny

Lost hope is found again

Suddenly the people around me started smiling again

My world seemed a little bit more beautiful

With news of the new manager's departure..

Cocky fake talents should be asked to leave. Maybe it has something to do with the recent cabinet changes. Whatever it is, I am not complaining...

Poll Evaluation 10: It's All Fantasy

2011-05-17T02:00:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...
Have you ever look at someone whom you think is attractive and wondered how it will be like..

From the statistics shown in the poll above, 84 per cent of you had fantasized about someone else while already with someone.The remaining are either too shy to admit, too in love with someone else or too young to know what a fantasy is.

I do dream and fantasize about my idol when I was younger. I drool over cute Korean actors too. I admire good looking men and women around me. It doesn't mean I am or going to jump into bed with them...
Hey, it's okay to look but not ogle at everyone who walked past.

Hey, it's okay to wonder but just don't get too carried away.

Hey, it's okay to fantasize but don't call the wrong name while with your partner.

Some say thinking is equivalent to cheating. As long as it doesn't lead to the actual deed of infidelity, I say give others the room to fantasize. It makes everyone happy anyway.

One Last Time

2011-05-14T02:02:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

I posted an entry last night. For some strange reason, blogger was down the whole of Friday when I checked and my post miraculously disappeared...

I guess it's not the time yet...

Let me give it another go.

Another chance.

One last time.

An Equal

2011-05-09T23:20:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day...

I pity Ms Tin Pei Ling. I really do. Not that I am pro PAP or anything, but I really felt sorry for her. There is a reason why nothing is being done about her presence as our soon to be Member of Parliament because comments about her are personal attacks. If Singaporeans really want her out of parliament, we need something more concrete than name calling.

One thing why I really felt sorry for her is being called materialistic for marrying a man 13 years her senior.

The photo of her with a Kate Spade carrier did nothing to help her image.

If there is anything I know, marrying a much older man attracts many opinions and criticisms. THB and her hubby is also 13 years apart.

People are quick to point out money being the main factor because he would not be that attractive at his age with receeding hairline (referring to my man). Hey, some of my not so close friends actually think I am enjoying life and spending my husband's money when I am out working my ass off. Merely looking at some pictures on Facebook does not tell you anything. For all we know, maybe it's love.

We have been kinder to another couple.

Mr Chiam and his wife are 14 years apart.

Maybe in time to come, TPL and her hubby will earn our respect like Mr Chiam and his wife.

If my man does not have a career, would I have married him? Maybe, but probably not. A woman wants stability and nothing speaks louder than a man having a good job.

I kind of understand why TPL is not hiding and refuses to quit even though the world seemed to be against her. Having a man that much older, you will always be in his shadow. People constantly ask why you are still working when you technically don't have to. As for me, I just want to be seen as an equal next to my husband not a bimbo with nothing to her name.

Till then, work hard and good luck to all in the next elections.

Smelly Chee Bye aka Foreign Talent

2011-05-06T06:40:00.002+08:00

Frustration of the day...

Tomorrow is the long awaited and much debated general elections. One of the most talked about topic is Foreign Talent (FT). Everyone seemed to be able to relate to each other's frustration except our government.

Wanting to claim the extra day of holiday for elections known as "off-in-lieu" from my context, I approached my new manager who hailed from an Incredible place, who has been working here for the past three years in a place call Smelly Chee Bye.

SCB: Is this applicable to our company.
THB: Yes.
SCB: Is this applicable to you. This is for our employees only.
(THB is under agency).
THB: This is by law.

A born and bred Singaporean being questioned of my rights and obligation to my country. Ironic thing is, one of the area SCB is in charge of now is leave and benefits.

With all due respect, I like my colleagues form Playland and I blamed my company for being REALLY BULL SHIT. The frustration is really caused by the calibre if such so call FT who do not bother to be keep abreast with the current happenings in Singapore. Come on, how can you miss out any news of elections?

Extra holidays like this should be given to Singaporeans only and not across the board. Despite being given an extra day, seems like FTs like that still dont know what is happening. We, Singaporeans have to vote, the PRs, EP and PEP holder's DO NOT.

Import them away, I say.

I have to correct the perception from the government or anyone who claimed they are cheaper. Let me assure you, they aren't and I am sure a HR job is not a job Singaporeans "does not want to do". If they are imported because they are cheaper, it should remain that way.

I also want to suggest to the opposition party's proposal, jobs paying over $4000 a month should be given to Singaporeans first and those below should be free to the market. Reason, it is already the case now. By Singaporeans, I mean those holding pink IC and not blue IC. Lessons should also be offered to employers who don't know any better.

Another suggestion, maybe we should put a few of such FTs in the parliament and they may understand what an average Singaporean faces during work. Afterall, FTs should be applicable to all sectors.

Poll Evaluation 9: Brrrrr...

2011-05-04T00:05:00.003+08:00

Confession of the day...

Seems like the readers of HB Diaries are not as advanturous as they appear to be.

Only 32 per cent indicated "No thanks" to a toy. Hey, all work no play make Jack a dull boy and Jane a dull girl... Everybody deserves to have a toy to play with.

Vibrator is on top of 36 per cent of those who too part in the poll. I wonder what is your gender. If you are a female, I completely understand because it is on top of my list too.

If you are a man, I can imagine you using it... brrrr brrrrr... Up your ass. Maybe you prefer watching women use it. Right? Hee

As for the rest... I guess people here are curious about it but not many are actually ready to try it.

A Voice, A Say, Then Action

2011-05-01T09:45:00.008+08:00

Confession of the day...
This weekend has been exciting. After attending two rallies for the past two nights instead of partying, I think I couldn't be anymore Singaporean than ever.

Property prices, job stability, GST, public transport, helping the poor, increase cost of living seemed to be on most parties' agenda. I hope somebody have concrete plans to encourage Singaporeans to have more kids.

Though Singapore has progressed much since independence, there is definitely still room for improvement. What I gathered was, Singaporeans only want a part in how the country is run. Things might not be so heated up if we felt like there is someone listening.
This country has changed so much to an extent that we are unable to keep up with it. We keep talking about change but will we be able to cope if there is a new form of government? Are we ready for another change?

Opposition heard us but with their weak voice, they have limited powers. The current powers said they know what we are going through but we don't see any action in place. A voice is not enough. Let the voice be heard and be actioned upon.

I Really Dunno What to Say

2011-04-28T00:00:00.029+08:00

Confession of the day...

Have you ever taken a look at your bedroom floor and wonder how much hair you lose everyday?

The decision to remove the carpet was made not too long ago. Dark hair on white floor stand out more than ever.

"Dear, we are losing a lot of hair. See still have pubic hair on the floor," I exclaimed while picking it up.

"Er, I am not the only person in this room with pubic hair," he said and continued watching tv.

I... I really dunno what to say...

Time for a wax perhaps. =(

Some Things You Don't Forget

2011-04-25T08:00:00.004+08:00

Confession of the day...

"Eh, walk slowly," as I pulled my lunch buddies back.

"Why, why, why," and they started giggling, "Who asked you to fool around when you were younger?"

Sigh. Unsympathetic bitches... I am sure everybody have their awkward experiences.

Why am I feeling uneasy over an incident that happened more than 10 years? He was my senior in school. I liked sporty guys and he played rugby.

We did kiss. Petted, but we didn't have sex. We didn't even see each other naked! My sense of touch told me he wasn't very well endowed down there. Maybe he wasn't fully erected.

Fact is, I was still a virgin then and I did not have the intention of losing my virginity in the middle of a park. At that age, I didn't know couples actually do have sex in parks. I was probably angry with him after that for wanting to have sex with me in a park.

I did not keep in contact with him after that but we bumped into each other again, again and again. Seems like we never really lost contact. He is in my list of friends on Facebook the last time I checked. Some people can't be brushed off for good no matter how hard you tried.

I don't understand why I am avoiding him every time I bump into him even though he doesn't have eyes behind and clearly does not remember me or so I thought...

He just asked me out for lunch... Hm, I wonder if he still remember what happened between us. Some things you don't forget. Maybe...

Hacked

2011-04-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

Finally, I got my MSN access back! You will see me poppping in and out more often.

I was ready to lose not one but two hotmail accounts until someone told me I could use the "forgot password" option. Shame on me for not knowing and trying out earlier. All is good.

Although I got my access back, I still don't understand how I can lose my access when I did not forget my password. I never forget my passwords. It must be the work of the group of hot women who always try to add me on MSN and said they wanted to keep me company. I had about 50 such requests.

Looks something like this..

Being completely honest, I told them I am a woman and I am not interested in women. Maybe that is why they got angry and decided to hack into my account. For what purpose, I don't know.

Maybe take over my account and add me to their group and offer to keep unsuspecting men company online. If they do that, the men who always ask me to go out to chill and offer me a fuck will get their accounts hacked too.

It might already happened because some people insisted I webcammed live and had cyber sex with them. I am petrified and denied all incidents but I don't think they believed me. I hope they get their accounts hacked too.

Poll Evaluation 8: To Each Its Own

2011-04-19T00:00:00.012+08:00

Poll of the day...

It's so physical physical...

Which part of the opposite sex attracts you first?

The windows to your soul is not the most popular part of your body to attract the opposite sex. Leading by two per cent, the part that matters more is your body built, shape and size. Forget those contact lenses and fake eyelashes. Go to the gym!

I think my taste is a little different from the public. My first choice is height, followed by body and brows. Eyebrows and arms doesn't seem very popular. What a shame. I think men with thick eyebrows and arms are sexy. Gaze into his eyes highlight by thick brows which grabbing his arm. Woo lala...

Boobs and chest is the third most popular choice. I am also not a fan of chest or man boobs. Female boobs, hm... probably, but they aren't the opposite sex.

Legs and height like what some people say, it doesn't matter when you are lying down. You don't lie down with a person all the time and people do have sex while standing up, so height and legs does matter. The fascination with legs, is it the length, the smoothness or the muscled calf?

This poll reflects how common or uncommon your taste is. Lips, ears, nose, whatever part of the body that attracts you, to each its own.

How to Concentrate

2011-04-17T01:25:00.000+08:00

Confession of the day...

How could I concentrate during office hours...

....when my tables in my office looks like this?

How? How to Concentrate?!

Love Sick

2011-04-14T07:30:00.001+08:00

Confession of the day...

It has been a week. I finally understand the meaning of being love sick. Mr HB is away in KL for F1 and some Invest in Malaysia conference.

I think I miss him so much that I am getting sick literally. I didn't have the appetite for anything. It was the first time I felt blue on a Monday in ages. My nose became runny and I didn't want to talk to anyone. Worst of all, I felt depressed sleeping alone. I hate being alone.

Before getting married, I blamed him for not spending enough time with me whenever he was away. I accused him of enjoying his time away from me and managed to pick up a fight along the way. I wondered how he ever coped with my tantrums and ended up getting married to me. I must have spiked his drink with a strong dose of THB love potion unknowingly.

After getting married, I only reprimanded him for not calling. This is the second longest time he is away. He is working hard for our future, or so he said. Hence, I am counting down to the days where I can be a real tai-tai...

Counting down the hours... The clock goes ticking. My heart skips a beat. Baby come back...

Some Things Never Change

2011-04-12T00:00:00.001+08:00

Place of the day...

Cab fare from hotel to food centre :$20

Seafood dinner for 4 at A1 in Batam : $20

Men watching football and ignoring women (in Batam?!):

Priceless!

Some things never change wherever you are....

Sex Theme Movies

2011-04-09T00:00:00.003+08:00

Thought of the day...

If you have time this weekend, you may want to Catch these movies (you can find it on Youtube);

Of course sex is involved in all the movies mentioned.

1. My So Called Love

I caught this movie on cable and I couldn't take my mind off it. I found the movie on youtube and watched it again. Surprise surprise, it had more uncut scenes online (Bed scenes and gay scenes). Why am I even paying for the channel?

This movie is deep. A little arty-farty and I loved it.

2. Changing Partners

This Korean movie is more recent compare to the first. Changing partners is not about swingers. I wonder if the actors actually do it... Anymore passion and action I will categorize it as a soft porn movie.

No wonder the Jap-wave is over. K-wave is way stronger...

3. Everybody Have Secrets

Another Korean movie which is a little twisted. Not realistic but a fantasy movie for men.

Sex theme movies seemed to be popular. Watch them and let me know which is your favourite. Do recommend some to me if you know of any.

NO LAUNDRY!

2011-04-06T00:00:00.003+08:00

Lesson of the day...

Nose nose I love you, please don't collapse. No, I am not talking about a new silicone implated nose...

Whilst the mother in law is away for a holiday, poor me is left at home with piles of unwashed clothes. Feeling homely, I took the initiative to wash all the clothes in the laundry basket. I am so proud of myself!

Although I know how to cook, clean and wash, I only do it when necessary...

While hanging the clothes to dry, I decided not to hang the clothes out of the window to dry because I was too lazy. I decided not to take the bamboo poles down to hang the clothes too because I thought I was tall enough.

After a few jumps, a pole came crashing down onto my nose...

FUCK! OWWWWWWWWWWW!

No blood, just lots of mucus and I kept sneezing after that. I think my nose is flatter now... Sobs...

Lesson of the day : NO LAUNDRY!

Good excuse not to do chores =)

Poll Evaluation 7: The Power of Smell

2011-04-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

Thought of the day...

The most important thing is to smell nice on the first night!

I have always thought shaving is the most important thing to do on the first night. Apparently it isn't. More than half who took part in the poll thought it is more important to smell nice! The question is, which part of your body? I guess you have to smell nice everywhere. Hair, clothes, underarms and down there... Anywhere that stinks will scare the other party away.

So, when you smell nice, the next most important thing is not to have stray hair sticking out unnecessarily and it isn't only pubic hair. It could be quite intimidating to some to see bushes down there but there are some people that actually likes hair. By the way, facial hair should be handled as well.

Third, condoms? Hey I am not talking about casual sex... (-.-)" I will give the you people the benefit of doubt that you are have some sort of family planning going on or you just want to be safe...

Now, I am surprised proper underwear is not on the top of the list. Women do want to wear something nice and impress their men but now we have know it doesn't matter if our underwear is old, worn or torn. It comes off anyway so don't bother buying new underwear...

Exercise is not important because you won't smell nice after that? Ah... The power of smell.

Crime to Watch

2011-03-31T05:40:00.000+08:00

Thought of the day...

Before there was CSI, we already have Crimewatch... I used to watch it every month with my dad.

When was the last time you watched Crimewatch on Channel 5? Do you know you can watch the episodes you missed on the Singapore Police Force website?! Wow. Talk about the use of technology...

While watching a repeat telecast a couple of days ago on our police forces' operations on prostitution, where the police go around to budget hotels and forcing open hotel doors when those inside refused to open the room door. I really find it funny.

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't prostitution legal in Singapore?

Furthermore, just listen to what those people said when they were arrested.

"It's my first time!"
Tough luck. Looks like you won't be getting a social visit pass into Singapore so easily next time.

"She is my wife's friend."
Drink tea in a hotel room together? Bastard.

"Just a friend."
It's safer to do it at some public carpark staircase.

"I never collect money."
Eh... Maybe this is really for pleasure but why go Geylang?

It's a crime to watch these people man...

Preference for Male Stylist

2011-03-27T18:00:00.010+08:00

Thought of the day...

There are close to 10 salons near my place and there is one I frequent as it is a little different than others. Brights lights, it smells nice and all the stylists are men. I do see a few shampoo girls occasionally but they never serve me.

Not only are the stylists men, but very good looking men with very good bodies. How can I miss looking at the shape of their bodies when they wear fitting tops? Sometimes I fantacise about squeezing their buldging muscular arms. Good thing that I am a very controlled person and my hands are always kept to myself.

I prefer male stylists and I am not afraid to admit it. I love the comfort of not having my scalp scratched with long fingernails, I love the male perspective of beauty and just take it that I love being "MANhandled"!

Male perspective of beauty if important if you want admiration from men. My husband passed nice comments about my shiny hair after visiting the salon yesterday. See, my preference for male stylists is justified. If only hubby knew how much I invested...

Despite vowing never to visit them again, I somehow always end up at the same place. Not that they are not good but they are very pushy aggresive sales people. Looks like I will be making more visits to the salon as I had signed myself up for more sessions to have my head manhandled.